The Unspeakable

Hello bloggers. Sorry aku tahu aku dah lama tak update blog. I couldnt find any ease time to update my blog. Right now I would like to share something I felt for long time ago and too bad it happens again. Aku sayangkan seseorang ni. Dialah intan, payungm jiwa raga, segalanya. Dia itu adalah boyfriend tercinta aku. Tapi sejak setahun yang lalu, aku dapat rasakan hari-hari aku bersama dia dah tak sama lagi mcm dlu. There is something going on but I don't know what is that. Dia curang dengan aku banyak kali tapi aku bagi dia banyak peluang untuk berubah. And Yes dia mmg berubah tapi lepas beberapa minggu, dia balik semula macam dlu. Dia sayang aku ke tak? Dia ikhlas ke tak Ya Allah? Kadang2, aku yakin bahawa dia cinta aku. Tapi kadang2 dia membuat aku confuse and nangis semalaman. Aku bingung. Jiwa ini terasa kosong dan sepi. Where is he when I need him the most. Who are you, baby? I don't know who you are. You're different now. Aku tak tahu nak buat ape lagi supaya dia percaya dan nampak yang aku betol2 ikhlas sayangkan dia. Dia seolah2 tak peduli pasala aku. Die jarang sekali call aku. Dalam seminggu in fact smpai berminggu minggu pon dia takde nak call aku, nak mesej aku, buat missed call pon jauh sekali. tapi bila dengan ex-girlfriend die, kawan2 dia, mesej berjela2 pon takpe. boleh berbual sampai berjam jam pon takpe. Siapa aku di hatinya Ya Allah? Tunjukkanlah jalan yang sebenar untukku Ya Allah. Aku sayang sgt kat dia. I love him so very too much. Baby, If you're listening, I wonder if I ever crossed your mind even for a second of lifetime. I do wonder that.

Dear my sweetest love, I rindu time kite kenal dulu. you tak pernah rase ngantok bila I call you. You never say no when I called you. You never auto reject me. You gave me a goodnight text and also a good morning love text. Dalam sehari, banyak kali kite berbual. Kita nyanyi sama sama on the phone. I gelak dengar you buat lawak. But seems like everything has changed.  Sekarang, bila I call. you cakap, B I busy edit video ni. I tahu you buat assigment , tapi I pon lagi busy dari you tapi I ade mase nak berbual dgn you. I ade mase nak call you and says 'hi'. What about you? I really do miss our old moment honey. I think I'm losing you. And I'm afraid you know. Do you know that? Its not that Im afraid I tak bole hidup bila you tak ada, I'm afraid if I could'nt love someone else like how I loved you, baby. Do you get that?

Please do come back. Bring him back to me, Allah.